Yesterday, Sunday was my One Year Blogaversary. Writing this blog has been empowering for me in many ways, as I no longer have to suffer in silence. I can put my thoughts out there for those who want to read it. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t have to read these words which have come from me if you didn’t want to. You could just close the browser now or click away onto something that interests you more. However, hundreds have read this blog and many have got in touch with me, I thank you all. I’m not saying that to brag numbers but in simple surprise really that so many have read and followed what I had to say, I never dreamt they would. After all who would want to sit and read this stuff if they really didn’t have to, apart from my ill-favoured sister-in-law? (Happy New Year! Hope you got my Christmas card?)
This January 2014 will see me embarking on prolonged and in-depth therapy to help me be more functional with my OCD. As I have been made aware, the fear and anxiety won’t leave me but I hope I live a more fulfilling life with it than I have in the last 15 years. I hope I approach more challenges with more positivity and I hope I stop sabotaging myself in the coming 12 months.
2013 taught me a lot about communicating, and this blog was no small part of that. Many of my relationships (real ones not just virtual ones) with those around me have been enhanced by me writing this blog, at least those worth worrying about who want to be a part of my life, after all you can’t force someone looking for excuses to dump you to actually care about you and what happens to you and once they have demonstrated they don’t care I see no way back to civility, it may just be my OCD mentality to be so totalitarian but I know no other way for now, perhaps I’ll sing a different tune at my 2 year blogaversary?
2014 is my year because this year I intend to become a Slimming World target member, I intend to be kinder to myself, more forgiving and more thoughtful to those around me. I will hit 40 this year. It’s a landmark age, not just for those who feel old because they remember when I was born, but for me too actually to reach this ripe, not quite so old age, this year. I suspect I have sounded younger to some and older to others who like to judge such things but it’s my prerogative to be me no matter how young or old I sound.
The next few months hold challenges for me that I look forward to and I may or may not grow up but I will always be myself through these challenges and I will always tell you about them right here. So watch this space…only if you want to of course.
I woke at 7 am to read the news and was deeply saddened to hear of the passing of the 23 year old Delhi gang rape victim. What makes this awful event so personal is that it could be anyone of us who is assaulted in this way. It could happen to me, a friend or family member. The frustration felt by those protesting is not far from my mind as I can envisage the inaction faced when this crime was reported. Perceptions need to change. It’s the 21st century, of all our industrial, technological and scientific breakthroughs we haven’t found a way to respect each other. Women are part of society they are equal, they deserve respect. This is just being human.
2012 ends with a great sense of sadness. I will struggle today as I try not to obsess over the waste of a precious and promising life.