I haven’t written a blog post for almost 3 months. In these months I have gained much and dealt with loss. I have battled with unhelpful thoughts and worked hard to not allow these thoughts to derail me from what matters.
I have learned to have boundaries not just from others but from myself. I have learned how I treat others may not be the way they treat me. However, how I choose to conduct myself should remain unaffected.
I have learned independence and how important a work ethic is for me. I have lost people, I have gained more of myself and learned to generate hope I had thought I had lost.
I have practiced and got better at self-reliance, I have ditched co-dependency. I have enjoyed my own company more as I have grown to learn more about me, my like and my dislikes.
I have looked back and seen just how far I have come just this year as I’ve engaged in implementing new habits that are healthier for me.
None of this has been easy. These changes have meant I’m no longer easy-going. I don’t feel like I want to engage in a way that no longer feels real to me. It maybe seen as me being tumultuous or uneasy, but I don’t feel that way. I feel at peace. I do however, feel the uneasiness in others from the change inside me.
I can’t keep repeating the same patterns anymore. It no longer fits me and I have learnt change. I have also found myself enough to continue this change and follow the path that emerges. I feel fear but I face it head on. I find a way to cut through things that weigh heavy on me.
I have gone with my intuition for so long that it’s second nature. I rely on it. What I need to work on is patience and boundaries. I need to be clearer in my needs when I seek guidance for spiritual development and appreciate I am not necessarily going to benefit from things I may have engaged in 2 years ago.
My previous experience of guidance indicates I need to be more discerning in who I trust. I have to appreciate that those who take on this calling to guide others are also on a journey. They are human and have their limitations too. I should take each challenge I face as an opportunity to practice what I have learned so I no longer find myself disappointed but endowed with experience and knowledge.
I look to the future from a place where I overlook my past and anticipate where I will be in 12 months time. I didn’t think I’d be where I am now, 12 months ago. I’m grateful to the universe for showing me reminders of how much I have grown. I release the fear, doubts and all that no longer serves me.
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