There’s something about relinquishing what will be to the universe, that unburdens us and frees us to find inner contentment. Instead of worrying about what will be, if we concentrated on finding happiness within ourselves in the now, I feel it would be time better spent.
I have found that contentment and liberation cannot be really attained unless honesty with ourselves and others is established. The burden of deceiving ourselves and others takes its toll on us both on our internal environment and external support networks. This honesty can be attained by acknowledging our own motives to ourselves and finding the courage to admit these intentions to others. When you are angry, saying you’re not doesn’t convince others, when it is apparent from your non-verbal cues and communications.
Deceiving myself and not taking responsibility for my own self care was detrimental to me two decades ago. Since then through misstep and experience, good and bad, I have tried to keep myself uncluttered by unhappiness. Then my marriage broke up and I had to rely on this technique of honesty to get through it. Taking responsibility for my part in what went wrong, acknowledging I’m not perfect and my point of view isn’t the only one that matters was just the basics.
Now I find myself on the precipice of another phase of life, one that will see me become more independent and possibly as challenging as the things I’ve faced in the last 12 months. I go forward into this phase with honesty and vulnerability. I’m not going to claim I’m happy, when I’m not. I’m not going to blame all that is causing me discontent on others, after all, I made decisions to get to this point. Decisions others have made around me are their prerogative, they are allowed to choose just as I am.
No one said life was going to be easy. You learn not everything goes your way at an early age, it’s just as important to learn to take responsibility and remove yourself from situations that don’t allow you to remain healthy.
Here, in a stable frame of mind, in a safe environment, and with a balanced point of view I can honestly say I will still make mistakes, life may still be difficult and challenging, but I can make it through to these moments where I feel content and liberated.