Having been a people pleaser for years, it is very hard not to seek validation from others. However, with the peacefulness my yoga practice brings I have been able to somewhat withdraw from the default thoughts I have about what others think of me. I no longer worry about going somewhere and how others perceive me. It is a lot harder, however, to stop seeking validation from those I’ve known for years.
I rather unhealthily take cues from those close to me as to how I’m feeling. I seem to absorb their emotions and energy like a sponge. If someone is sending out an oppressive vibe, I consequently feel oppressed. This is an awful trait to have around someone who is unhappy and/passive aggressive. This is because I absorb and am preoccupied by the emotions they are releasing and although they themselves are focussed on the negative aspect of a situation, they do not see nor care how their mood and non-verbal cues are affecting me.
This has been particularly hard to deal with after my separation in my marriage. For seventeen years I have automatically by default taken my cues from my former spouse, now I am in the process of severing emotional ties and it’s a challenging process of removing my regard for someone who was closest to me and placing all that regard in a box of indifference. However, this is what needs to happen for me to have sole ownership of my emotions.