Losing a Loved One #PetLoss

On Tuesday we lost Tinky. This time last week she was fine. She went off her food at the weekend and lost her energy on Monday evening. Tuesday morning it became clear to us that we had no other treatment or management options and although to us she still seemed determined and herself that veterinary science had little to help her in its arsenal. 

Tinky has had renal failure since 2013 and we were told that the condition can be monitored and changes in her diet made to prolong her wellbeing but there’s no cure. Considering the effect the condition had on her she was remarkably well.

For us Tinky was the first kitten we ever reserved. She was mislabelled a he when we first met her and was pretty much the ringleader in her litter. She was always the loudest with the most to say and somehow led other cats to do her bidding. 

She was a tiny baby when she came to live with us but she had a huge personality and a will of steel. Headstrong, stubborn and extremely vocal we soon learned to do things her way. She was undoubtedly the smartest cat we ever had as well as the most bossy and authoritative when we bred kittens.

Tinky was scrupulously clean and she wouldn’t tolerate any cat or kitten eliminating where they shouldn’t. She kept us on our toes when it came to making sure all our littertrays were acceptably clean.

We learned early on that she would do almost anything for prawns and her special renal diet meant she had to give up a lot of her favourite foods, but she was so smart she knew eating anything other than her kidney food would make her unwell, so used to just watch the others tucking into things she loved. 

If she needed anything she would let us know, not too subtly, but most of all what surprised me most was just how empathic she could be. She used to come and sit next to me leaning against me if I was upset or feeling depressed. When I was ill before my pulmonary hypertension diagnosis she used to sit on me for hours and just purr. 

In 2012 when I was admitted at my local hospital for two weeks I was allowed home at weekend’s on day release and she used to tell me off for being away then sit on me refusing to budge as she knew I would have to go back to the hospital. 

She had a special meow just for me and without her constant companionship since she came to us in 2006, my life would have been considerably poorer. My first morning without her was unbearably quiet and despite the five cats outside my bedroom door there’s an empty space we all feel that cannot be filled. 

When you say you’ve lost a cat, people who don’t love cats can’t begin to understand that loss, so to put it in terms that can more accurately convey how I feel I will say I’ve lost a constant bestfriend and probably the closest being I will have to a child of my own. 

I knew she wouldn’t be here forever but losing her is hard on an already broken heart. 

38 thoughts on “Losing a Loved One #PetLoss”

  1. Oh hun I am so very very sorry. I understand all too well how it feels to lose a pet. Both suddenly & with deteriorating health. It is so so hard no matter the circumstances. My heart goes out to you guys. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like an absolutely wonderful cat & I’m glad you had her in your lives. ♡♡

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your kitty was so lucky to have had the time with you. I’ve been through losing a few cats and each time it was devastating. I hope you can take comfort in the good memories and the fact that you have her a great home.

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    1. Thank you, she’s not the first we have lost unfortunately, but she’s the oldest cat we’ve lost. I think I was the lucky one to have had the opportunity of homing her. I’m grateful for the time we had together.

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  3. I’m sorry for your loss. My first cat, who I had for almost 20 years, died of renal failure and while you know they won’t live forever, you’d like them to. Cats are special pets and I think all of us who are owned by them would agree. Sending you hugs

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  4. So sorry for your loss. They are family and the grief is real, I know. Time has eased my pain, but I will always miss him. I am grateful for having him as I’m sure you are with Tinky.

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  5. Cats are such gentle, expressive, yet sometimes not so gentle creatures. Their loyalty astounds me and it breaks my heart to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you. *hug*

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  6. Losing a beloved pet is always hard, whatever else may be going on in your life. We lost our 13-year old Australian Labradoodle in December 2015 with very little advance warning of anything wrong. I still tear up from time to time, especially when I come across one of his old pictures. Healing hugs.

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  7. So sad to lose a pet who is more a family member than pet. I had two cats, Zing and Zoe, brother and sister, for 14 years and when Zing died because of kidney failure, Zoe stopped eating and died 9 days later. They are so tuned in. Now I have Raul and Bella and Raul was also mislabelled as a boy when we got him. It wasn’t until we had them fixed that the vet discovered he was a she. Since she presented as a male, we decided she wanted to be a male so we didn’t change his name and now we call him our transgender cat. I’ve lost too many animals over the years and it never gets easier. Oh, and I should say that I’m convinced that Raul and Bella are Zing and Zoe reincarnated. They look very similar and their mannerisms are the same, they just switched bodies. So I’d keep and eye out for Tinky’s Return. They love you as much as you love them and I’m convinced they try and find their way back to you. :0)

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    1. After Tinky left us, the others she hung out with were so quiet and affectionate. It’s like they knew she was gone for good. I think the danger is in thinking we cannot deal with the pain of losing them and not allowing ourselves to love another so openly, but I could not imagine a life without my cats.

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  8. So sorry about Tinky. So smart and loving from your descriptions. My cat is 16 and started having one health problem after another that started last April. Most recently he was diagnosed with diabetes but thankfully with a change of diet seems to be in remission. He still has other issues but we love him and do our best to keep him happy and comfortable. My heart goes out to you. It’s so hard.

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