I have really been affected by the hot weather this year. Most of the time if the temperature reaches above twenty-four degrees Celsius I am just mildly uncomfortable. But this year I have found myself feeling quite unwell. On further investigation with our home blood pressure monitor, we found my blood pressure fell to 99/60, with no postural drop, and at worst it was 70/54. I admit my fluid intake is compromised when I am unwell but I have made an effort to drink more with no effect in these instances.

When I am cooler my blood pressure reverts to 120/70, so I haven’t sought any medical input into these bouts of hypotension, as they are reversible and I feel well afterwards. When I am hot I am unable to concentrate and this has severely affected my reading this summer as I have fallen uncharacteristically behind on my review reading list.

I suppose this mild inconvenience reinforces I am not a robot and although I feel like pulmonary hypertension only slightly affects me day to day, it is lurking in the wings making me physiologically more vulnerable to adverse conditions.

I find myself feeling militant about these bouts of unwellness and this week despite feeling awful, I went to all my appointments and obligations, because I couldn’t let pulmonary hypertension win again and limit my life. I already feel I have lost so much from my avoidance issues.

I may not have been on top form but I was at least present for events and not curtailed at home. This for me is a huge psychological battle with not just pulmonary hypertension but also my OCD, which heavily influences me to avoid anything adversarial. In my opinion this aspect of my OCD has been the most damaging as I have limited experience in trying to overcome adverse situations because of my huge avoidance issues.

This limitation has affected my self-confidence hugely, not just in the past but now in my present too. Knowing this I am trying hard to push myself more, within reason physically, and more frequently mentally to take on situations I would habitually avoid. I’m reserving judgment on how this is going until after summer ends, but I will post about the activities I have undertaken against the shackles of my OCD soon.