I have, in the past, limited my interaction with other people and places in my life. The reasons I have for doing this are to protect myself and to find closeness to my, now late, mother. After discovering what was behind my behaviour, about a year ago, I now am more willing to interact as necessary with outside agencies.
I manage my own repeat prescription and appointments with hospital clinics and homecare medication deliveries. If all that isn’t exhausting enough I manage my hairdresser appointments and our social calendar, governing meals out, theatre, comedy club and cinema visits.
I have a birthday coming up soon and rather than plan it meticulously, giving in to my overactive control issues and invariably having a dreadful time, I have a few things to do in mind and will see how I feel on a day by day basis. I have declined any gifts as I don’t feel accumulating physical possessions are needed and as far as stuff goes, I have too much cluttering my space already. If anything my birthday week will involve freeing my space of excess books, DVDs, clothes, shoes, and other paraphernalia to lighten my mind. If I choose to keep stuff it will be stuff that has a practical application that I can utilise.
I feel I am over middle age, as I think living to twice my age on my birthday this month, may be surpassing natural expectations, in light of my chronic illnesses. So, if I have less than forty years to go I better get on with doing things I want to and leaving what’s irrelevant behind.
Me at sixteen years of age
Ajoobacats Blog 
Hi! really great post. I think its a great idea to clear out what you dont need and focus on what is important for you.
Happy birthday in advance hope you do loads of stuff you love that will create precious memories. Happy you are doing much more and putting yourself out there.
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Thank you, I can’t explain it but a layer of fear I had seems more manageable and as a result my priorities are different. I feel very optimistic about my birthday, who’s is a first for me, but I also feel excited about clearing out my space too.
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Happy birthday and many more. Beautiful, rare and honest insights into yourself and your life. I wish you the best.
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Thank you, although I often feel deficient and worry I lack depth altogether.
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Very insightful post. I too often feel I have accomplished nothing. But as my boys at work just found out today our lives are not about what we accomplish but who we meet, and save in the process of our lives. Your life may not seem very tangible now, but looking back in a few years, you may see things a bit differently or in a whole new light. At least, I hope this is true for me and just wanted to pass on the good blessings to you. Enjoy your birthday doing what you love best, being just you!
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Thank you, I definitely see things in a new light from where I was two years ago. It’s a rocky road but I think I’m headed in the right direction.
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Happy early birthday! That whole de-cluttering thing must be a trait for people with spring birthdays–I almost always feel the need to get rid of “stuff” on or around my b-day and it always makes me feel so much lighter. Besides, how much stuff does a person really need?
I hope that your coming year is filled with much joy and happiness, and amazing adventures 🙂
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Thank you. I really wanted to buy a special bound edition of HP Lovecraft’s work, but just couldn’t bring myself to do so as I thought of the book disappearing into the chasm of belongings I have that don’t see the light of day often. I hope the clear out allows me space to have adventures.
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Happy birthday. 🙂 Good luck purging your space! I’m doing the same over here, too.
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Thanks, I’m sure I’m going to regret starting it.
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But hopefully you’ll be very happy when it’s done! 🙂 It’s SO hard to get through it, I find, because I lose energy halfway through. I’m sitting amidst piles right now and have stopped halfway to read blogs.
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It does look worse before it looks better, but it has to be done.
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Definitely!
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