The Natural Course of Grief…

I stated I wouldn’t blog about personal stuff in my life on this blog anymore, but this is the sort of post that begs to be written. Ten days ago was the anniversary of my mother’s death. At the time I was prevented, by unwarranted distraction and drama, in the alleged form of support (don’t ask!), from thinking about what my mother meant to me and how she is still with me in what I think and what I do today.

My mother was my best-friend for years and I lost her slowly, years before her actual death, as her personality was affected by her medical issues. I felt her frustration and her pain at difficult times and I spent most of my life trying to appease her. Losing her left me heartbroken without a sense of purpose and focus and with a gaping hole that cannot be filled, it seems, at times.

My husband is a wonderful man with very broad shoulders, he has supported me through the twist, turns and surprises life has thrown at us and some very dark days. He has accepted me for who I am and picked up the pieces every time I have fallen apart over the last 13 years. All we have ever asked of each other and got unconditionally is love, based on mutual honesty, admiration and respect.

Without my husband, coping with life would seem near impossible for me. He has lifted me from barely coping, to making the most of, all the way to enjoying the opportunities I make and have today. Each day begins with positivity and a burst of energy rather than the realisation and sensation of hurt, dread and loss I was living with for many years. My mother liked him and knew I had found my soulmate before she passed away; I wish she could see the progress I have made in life and the person I am today.

I have been fortunate to know and love a strong, determined and loyal woman like my mother and I am another year on in letting her go and keeping her memories close to my heart. While I set myself goals in life I want to achieve and bring myself the happiness I deserve, I pay tribute to my mother, whom I loved very much and say a big thank you to my husband for inspiring me to be a better person every day.

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