Often on this blog I write about the things that bother me in a negative way and over the years I admit it’s been hard not to be frightened of being happy. There’s the constant fear that someone or some situation can snatch away my feeling of happiness and safety. However I have realised recently that can only happen if I allow it to. I’m the one who decides I’m happy not people who have nothing to do with me, who aren’t here for me and don’t want to know me at my lowest.
With this in mind today I can honestly say I’m happy. A big part of this is my best friend is happy, my husband is always happy and we don’t actually need anything more than what we have at this given time. I am still suffering with quite florid endometriosis symptoms and my OCD isn’t cured but taking everything into account I am actually accepting and grateful for everything and everyone today.
Another factor in my reasons to be happy today scenario is the fact things could always be worse. There is absolutely nothing I feel regretful or guilty about at this point in my life. I know who I am, I know where I’ve come from and I know why I have difficulty with certain things. I am willing to work on me at my own pace to be better as I would wish to be.
This warm feeling may not be permanent and no doubt I have storms to weather but today is a calm day at sea and it’s calm because I know I’ve done my best and there’s nothing more I could have done to make today any better. I am what I am and my life is what it is.
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