When things seem bleak…

Recently I have felt quite low and pessimistic and I have had trouble sleeping through the night. As a result I have felt anxious, tired and just fed up of everything really. I stopped enjoying the things I normally enjoy and I stopped doing things that make me feel better.

I went to speak to my psychiatrist about these symptoms and he was very sympathetic, he offered me anything I felt I needed from a pharmacological point of view and agreed I needed more psychology input. Of recent I have fallen into some very bad habits. Not exercising is one of them. I haven’t tried to physically exert myself since I was at The Royal Hallamshire in Sheffield for my Pulmonary Hypertension check up, I haven’t been sleeping well as I have been giving into the temptation to answer text messages and read most of the night. I have cancelled appointments like going to my hairdresser and getting my monthly facials.

Basically I have been reducing the things I do to look after myself and gradually living with more stress. The trigger of my symptoms was going to Sheffield but exacerbating factors are my increased symptoms of pain from my endometriosis and no contact with a psychologist since August 2013. 2 months of not seeing a psychologist may not seem like a big deal but in the context of seeing one every fortnight and increased anxiety it is quite significant.

I have to say I have never felt quite so unwell as I have these past 2 weeks and if it wasn’t for my husband I don’t know how I would have managed. He not only provided me with support but he took unsolicited verbal abuse from me, managed our cats and our household as well as getting me to appointments as needed on time, all on top of full time employment.

He never shows me any impatience or raises his voice to me. I’m beginning to think the man really does have the patience of a Saint! I know I have chronic illnesses and a less than ideal relationship with my relations but when it came to my husband I lucked out. He really is the best I could have hoped to find. Experiencing his care for me is both comforting and inspiring, I hope to be a better and more patient person myself in future following his example.