After this weeks Slimming World meeting I am still 1.5 lbs away from my 1.5 stone award and my Club 10. Keeping a food diary boosted my loss for the week before but this week despite getting my Silver Body Magic Award my Club 10 eludes me.
Oddly, its not all doom and gloom as I have noticed my clothes becoming looser, my shape changing, and I am buying a dress size lower. In fact I’m back to a size I haven’t been since 2004. I have unearthed a forgotten part of my wardrobe.
I feel compelled to keep a food diary again this week, which is no bad thing and to keep working towards my Gold Body Magic Award. I have weights and any paraphernalia I feel I might need to achieve the Gold award in 8 weeks but I need to get the double award staring me in the face right now.
This past week I kept on plan and even went so far as to eat scan bran on 4 days, which wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Curiously the days I had scan bran I achieved good losses but the night before weigh in I was 2 lbs heavier than my previous weigh in. On the day I maintained but I can think of nothing more I could have done in the week to boost my weight loss.
I ate a good variety of free and super free foods. My syns were 5-15 a day and I had a good amount of physical activity. I have no doubts that my delay in reaching my Club 10 is subconscious. I have built up this landmark in my mind and I think I am doing little things to sabotage myself like not drinking or delaying meals, missing the odd part of my healthy extras. None of which really should have a great affect but collectively may just be enough to keep me off the mark.
I think mentally I wasn’t prepared to be at Club 10 yet, but I think I am now. I’ve waited around enough. It’s time to move to the next phase. I’m over a stone lighter than I was in January 2013 and its time to leave my old body image behind and embrace my new look. It’s time to aspire to being the next size down. I need to visualise the next step in my journey.
The plan works, I have proved to myself I can be physically active despite diabetes, severe endometriosis and pulmonary hypertension. I have stopped my insulin and gone back to metformin. My blood sugars are stable. I am able to exercise up to a pulse rate of 148 without chest pain.
I don’t think I’ll ever be slimmer or the week or slimmer of the month but I just need to let go a little to reach my next goal.
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