Sudden Realisations

Most problems we have in our lives are a result of interpersonal relationships. Mainly because boundaries aren’t placed where they should be. One person may feel they are entitled to more, thus breaching the line of the other person. The problem that frequently arises is mainly due to inconsistencies by one party to protect their boundaries. I’m guilty of this.

I have convinced myself over the years that my needs, wellbeing and opinions are not valid or are not a priority. I have been sorry for being myself, being ill and numerous other things I would tell another person not to apologise for. It’s not acceptable for someone to upset you and it’s also not acceptable for that person to then turn around and fault you for being upset.

As much as we have all loved/hated lockdown for me it was an ideal opportunity to start tipping the balance and prioritising me. Realising if I didn’t want to talk to someone I could miss that call, if I didn’t feel like texting back I didn’t need to and I didn’t need to put hurt feelings in a box and store them away. I utilise those feelings to gauge when things are wrong. Very wrong.

If bad behaviour has become a cyclical pattern then I have a right to get the frack off the ride. I need not stay in a relationship or situation where by trust and respect are continually abused. Perceived criticism and slights are hallmarks of toxic relationships. When someone can’t apologise for being unreasonable and repeats unreasonable behaviour labelling it a personality trait that’s desirable, then you do have to acknowledge their scope for growth and self awareness is limited at this time.

I work hard on myself through yoga, meditation, reading and finding spiritual and emotional growth, I deserve to surround myself with people who have a similar energy. Everyone we meet, have associations with teach us something in numerous ways either by reflection, parable or example. So interactions are not a waste. Cycling through the same experiences and changing nothing are a waste of opportunities to learn and energy. We must destroy false beliefs in order to create healthy ones.

Sometimes the right thing to do, is call it a day before you start to despise and dislike the other person, which is a waste of time, as our aim in life is to find happiness and enlightenment. Neither one needs to be tied to another person, particularly one who is not on your wavelength and has no clue about how you think.