Taking the time to think about my concerns from a distance allows me to see the bigger picture. Add to this the trusted opinion of people who have known me for years and I feel I’m regaining parts of myself I had lost sight of in the last twelve months. After a peaceful night’s sleep, one I haven’t had for months, I am finally sure of myself.
I forgot I don’t suffer fools gladly. In an attempt to find more awareness of those around me I have become a lot more tolerant of bad behaviour. It’s almost as if I feel I deserve being treated badly due to past failings.
Those failings are put into perspective by those I think I have failed, when they tell me I need to throw out what is to my detriment and move on. My first instinct is what I should trust and I have been second guessing myself for too long.
As difficult as it is to move on, I have done so already and will no doubt do so again. I’m no longer second guessing and I’m sticking to my guns this time. Time for a brand new phase and embracing what I truly deserve, and not settling for a lifetime of punishment.