Things I Wish I Could Go Back And Tell Myself Before My OCD Manifested


Standing alone and being alone is not a bad thing and solitude has a peace you will come to love.
Isolation should be used in moderation for self-reflection and meditation, never as a punishment.
Denial is an expensive luxury you cannot afford.
Inaccuracy is a common currency, you want to avoid.
Sincerity is a priceless commodity, insincerity is obvious, vulgar and tacky, choose wisely and don’t follow the examples you see.
Truth is flexible, not as absolute to other people as it seems to you.
Love is not, and nor is it required to be, reciprocal.
Karma is far from the only bitch you will meet, unfortunately.
Family can also be opaque, elusive, incomprehensible and transitional.
Don’t stick around people who try to or make you feel bad about yourself, your choices and your life.
If they can’t see the fault in their own behaviour, it’s not your problem, step away to preserve your peace.
Giving more than you get is an opportunity you should never pass up, but save what you need to function.
Your cats will teach you to care about something other than yourself, your wealth and your future.
Your pain, physical and emotional, is inspirational to those who love you and those who hate you, but the energy needed and generated to either love or hate, is theirs not yours.
When the self-proclaimed pious are judgmental, don’t forget who they bow to is your God too and his/hers is the only judgment that matters both right now and ultimately.
Religion, laws, conscience, compulsions, rules and  morality will seem to only  apply to you, in the strictest sense, everyone else will seem free to do what they damn well please, but make choices you want to live with.
Only one person you meet in a whole lifetime will even come close to understanding you, if you’re lucky, but that one person is all you need.
Things may not go to plan, but you will still be happy.

14 thoughts on “Things I Wish I Could Go Back And Tell Myself Before My OCD Manifested”

  1. My OCD is specific to only a few things. Unfortunately one of those things is spelling and grammar.
    *sigh* I’ll read an online fiction which could be an awesome story IF…If is one of the worst words in my vocabulary. In this case it means IF they had a beta. I have to fight myself, hard, to resist the urge to offer my services.
    What would I tell myself if I could go back?
    Your perfection is not everybody else’s perfection; there is more than one way to do this so don’t stress over it. (Refers to work)
    Not everybody believes in less is more. Refers to the overuse, IMO, of commas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My OCD is deeply rooted in my emotions and governs my reaction to everything. I am dealing with the more physical manifestations of my disorder, one small step at a time, but the emotional aspects will take years of therapy I think.


  2. I do believe that whatever your experience for your OCD will shape and allow you to understand yourself. It’s painful to go through the ordeal each day but having a good support system will help in your way to recovery. Cause I am speaking from my own experience of having mental illness and I know that the road to recovery is long and difficult. But I know that these help me to realized things that I am not aware of myself before. I wish you best for your recovery. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It is difficult but surround yourself with beautiful people who will give you endless support. Do things that you enjoy doing and get outside for the sun. You will be a fierce warrior after surving this battle!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. “Karma is far from the only bitch you will meet, unfortunately.” Love it. Very elegant post! You could write an inspirational self-help (the good, not cheesy kind), and write your way through the madness. You’ve got a lot of very profound things to say. Writing is cheaper than therapy, but done in tandem, exponentially healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, that’s very kind I look back at what I’ve written and think I am pointing out the obvious and being cliche, but I am my worst critic. I feel discouraged to write this stuff as a result of the negative feedback I get from those who know me in the real world, but I do find it therapeutic.


  4. What a beautiful, poignant and insightful post. It always strikes me as sad that as children we so need the wisdom that only age and perspective brings. It seems backwards, doesn’t it? I suppose our suffering makes us more compassionate for the suffering of others and therefore binds the world. But it sure is hard. Thank you for sharing your lovely wish for yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is very backwards but we do go through life walking backwards, only seeing where we have been, not where we are going. I think there’s an innate beauty in the way things are, but I was that kid who wished I could time travel and now I am that adult who wishes I could time travel.

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  5. Oh Babus, what a beautiful and articulate post. I am one who wishes to time travel also. Not because i want to avoid my present but just to experience an era when things were simpler. Of course it is part of my creative being that wishes it.
    That being said, I don’t understand people who constantly spread their negative energy and try to drag you down believing they’re actually helping. There is no room in your life for that. I think you help so many by stating your struggles so eloquently, when you find yourself in that space where you struggle with feelings of hopelessness, I hope you remember that part of the healing process is in sharing your experience, your being, your life- so please do, we all support you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I almost trashed this post rather than publishing it, I have been hurt so many times when I have tried to share my feelings or thoughts, I don’t do so very easily anymore, even here, a place of expression that others have tried to silence. I wrote this post but held on to it and added a little everyday until I felt I had opened my heart and worked too hard on it to discard it.


      1. I am so glad you published it. Naysayers constantly belittle because they are either uncomfortable with your feelings or just ignorant about OCD and how debilitating it can be. You heal yourself and others by writing. I hope you do continue to write, I so admire you for doing so. It takes courage… heaps of it.

        Liked by 1 person

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