No Mothers for Mother’s Day

Each year Mother’s Day rolls around and I find myself struggling emotionally as I miss my Mum so much. Mother’s Day is about valuing Mothers and maternal bonds. My husband and I don’t have Mothers anymore and the likelihood of us having children becomes smaller and smaller each year to the point that it’s safe to say that it’s very unlikely indeed now. Each year I think I should find a symbolic way to mark this day and each year I draw a blank as to what I can do to honour what maternal bonds I still feel.

I miss previous Mother’s Days but I do not have any regrets that I could have done more for my Mum. I did the best I could for her each year. It hurts beyond belief that I will never have children but I think on some level I have always subconsciously known it would never be for me.

I take comfort in that I had a Mum I loved beyond reason and I have a day of thinking of her. It doesn’t seem like Mothers Day will ever be a day where I feel no pain but I hope it can become a day I celebrate my Mum and my love for her rather than feel the gaping hole her absence leaves in my life.

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4 thoughts on “No Mothers for Mother’s Day

  1. It is, indeed, a poignant day. I actually resent the amount of emotional pressure that commercialism has heaped upon people to celebrate this in a way that totally divorces the concept from its original (and pagan!) roots. I find it depressing that everywhere you look there is a mountain of optimistic tripe made to make you feel the loss of your mother ever more keenly. I love my mother. I’m sure she knows it. The bond I feel with her is slightly confused by her mental state. I think we should continue to love our mothers daily, and I think most of us do in our own ways, without the engineered pressure to make one day a special because of the amount we spent on flowers or chocolates. It’s shameful that the profiteers and marketers have created this one day where the ‘gaping hole’ is emphasised for those of us who are unable to have relationships with our mothers any more.

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    • Agree! It is outrageous I’m made to feel such pain so that retail outlets can make a killing. And to top it off I’m programmed to try and find a way to join in this shopping frenzy in order to feel social acceptance on a day that has just deep emotional issues for me.

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  2. Lovely. Just lovely. I miss buying flowers for my mum too. My first Mother’s Day without her I find very upsetting.

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    • I feel upset too but, you know, thinking back on previous Mothers Days does help. In a way, trying to connect with what my Mum would say to me now if she could, is comforting.

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