Each year Mother’s Day rolls around and I find myself struggling emotionally as I miss my Mum so much. Mother’s Day is about valuing Mothers and maternal bonds. My husband and I don’t have Mothers anymore and the likelihood of us having children becomes smaller and smaller each year to the point that it’s safe to say that it’s very unlikely indeed now. Each year I think I should find a symbolic way to mark this day and each year I draw a blank as to what I can do to honour what maternal bonds I still feel.
I miss previous Mother’s Days but I do not have any regrets that I could have done more for my Mum. I did the best I could for her each year. It hurts beyond belief that I will never have children but I think on some level I have always subconsciously known it would never be for me.
I take comfort in that I had a Mum I loved beyond reason and I have a day of thinking of her. It doesn’t seem like Mothers Day will ever be a day where I feel no pain but I hope it can become a day I celebrate my Mum and my love for her rather than feel the gaping hole her absence leaves in my life.