It is fair to say everyone has come across a situation where they feel like someone doesn’t like them. When confronted with this absolutely unthinkable possibility we wonder why? What could possibly be wrong with me to evoke such a strong response? Likewise we have all been in a situation where we have disliked someone for whatever reason. When we are immature it’s because they aren’t cool enough and would do nothing for our playground kudos, I think this analogy carries well into middle age for some poor insecure souls. As we get older we shun those who don’t have the same moral convictions as us, provided we aren’t making up for being in the in-crowd as a kid and want to be popular now we are in our 40s-50s. Basically we grow to have integrity…hopefully. Well maybe some of us.
When I look back at “friendships” that I invested in but have lost touch with the people concerned I can see my attitude has changed from, “why don’t they like me?” to “meh, I can only be me and I am allowed to have been young and without insight too.” I don’t wonder why people don’t like me because I now know. I am rigid in my beliefs and behaviour, I have OCD. I don’t yield even a little to popular thought and when all is said and done I couldn’t give a crap about who doesn’t like me. I have insecurities but being fake to be your friend doesn’t feature in dealing with them.
My point of view is, it’s not compulsory for you to like me and vice versa. I cannot possibly change the laws of science or anything else to accommodate you and your delusions. I can’t say the moon is made of cheese so that you sell more kittens or persuade yourself that the principle of genetics don’t apply to your cat, dog or horse breeding programme. Of course you would have be familiar with these principles to know they can’t be fudged to suit you. I can’t pretend you were the coolest person I knew at university and beyond when you couldn’t manage to make a phone call when my mother died.
I do make allowances but I cannot overlook the elephant in the room or the chip on your shoulder, and I don’t need to. I am fortunate to be supported by likeminded people and I do meet new people with an open mind but with a good working knowledge of who and what I don’t like. I don’t live with the delusion because we are Facebook friends we are part of each others lives. I actually have a life to know the difference. I have become a person I like and I wish I had valued the power of simply liking myself 20 years ago, because once I liked myself everything else just fell into place.